“The practices lead people through a rich and multifaceted process of relaxation, developing presence within the body, opening interior awareness, reading the information the body gives forth, learning how to let the body come more and more to life, and finally surrendering to the body as the guide of one's life.”
from Touching Enlightenment--Finding Realization in the Body by Reginald Ray, p. 62
 

Through this work, you can experience new capacities for feeling and pleasure in your body, and learn to have more freedom, power and sweetness in your erotic life and relationships.

I am a Certified Sexological Bodyworker and follow the protocols for this profession. The session will combine massage and breathing techniques to allow you to get deeply in touch with yourself and your erotic energy. The ethics code of Sexological Bodywork requires that the massage is one way touching only. I am there to guide you into a deeper relationship with yourself and your body.

I am a certified bodyworker with professional training in Thai Massage and Fusion Massage.

Erotic Education

For those who want more than a single session, I offer an "Erotic Education" package through which individuals and couples can make a radical shift in their levels of connection and pleasure. We make a plan and work together over a period of months to address specific sexual issues and find the path of sexual healing and empowerment that is unique to you. Distance support plus intensive in-person sessions can be included.

Reasons to Come

People come to see me for many reasons. Some of them are:

• Exploring who you are as an erotic being

• Passionate Marriage, expanding possibilities for couples 

• Massage Lessons for Lovers, learning the arts of sacred touch

• Learning the anatomy of arousal, becoming a better lover

• Walking the path of sacred sexuality

• Orgasmic birth coaching

• Loss or lack of sexual desire – inside or outside of relationship

• Healing female sexual dysfunction, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, inhibited ejaculation

• Reconnecting to sex after childbirth, menopause, or prostate surgery

• Learning to experience and give a partner (man or woman) extended and multiple orgasms

•  Deciphering sexual identity

• Chronic pelvic pain, vulvodynia, scar tissue remediation, addressing constrictions that inhibit sexual function

• Being sexual with a disability, including spinal cord injury, paralysis, or brain injury

•  Unwanted or obsessive erotic attachment, jealousy, loneliness

• Becoming orgasmic, or more orgasmic

• Exploring female ejaculation

• Changing habitual sexual roles or scripts

• Healing sexual abuse or trauma*

• Exploring erotic possibilities as a transitioning or transgender person

• Addressing troublesome turn-ons, including "pornography addiction," "sex addiction," or unwanted fantasies

• Learning how to be safely and fully sexual when HIV–positive or with another chronic STD

• Exploring new ways of being sexual in a safe environment, including anal pleasure, power and surrender, bold sensation, and more

• Scar tissue remediation - help for scars from abdominal or genital surgery or tissue damage from childbirth

• Pleasure, a fun and safe erotic adventure

Learning Erotic Independence

I work with students to assist them in expanding their erotic feelings and capacities in ways that are independent of love and relationship. Services and Rates invites a process of discerning one's own resources, while exploring, recognizing and refining the self, and coming home to the body and its capacities. Instead of knocking hungrily on the door of relationship to fulfill our erotic needs, we can  begin to embody erotic independence. Learning to contain sexual energy, expand it, and relax into it, we physically integrate an understanding that the true source of pleasure is not in a partner, but within ourselves.

Enhancing Relationships

Whether you come alone or with a partner, Services and Rates will likely bring more joy to your intimate relationships. You will learn to receive and to give touch in new ways that are profoundly satisfying. You will explore diverse dimensions of touch and eroticism, while practicing communication skills that empower you to discern boundaries and ask for what you want. Couples learn to touch each other more skillfully, and without demands or urgencies. They learn how touch can open access to a universal loving energy that heals wounds and expands possibilities in relationships.

Addressing Trauma

As a wounded healer, I work with survivors of sexual trauma.* Talk therapy is enormously helpful for trauma survivors, but it may always leave us short of full healing.  Bessel van der Kolk writes:

Verbalizing, making meaning, and putting an event into context may provide a means of feeling understood., rejoining the human race, and gaining perspective on the experience, but it may do little to reorganize the person to feel safe and focused on fulfilling the demands of the present. Given the subcortical nature of trauma imprints, effective therapy needs to help survivors tolerate the sensory reminders of the trauma, and physically experience efficacy and purpose in response to stimuli that once triggered feelings of helplessness and dependence.[1]

Additional Information for Students

*I am an educator and not a therapist. Body-based erotic education should not be construed as a substitute for physical or psychological examination, diagnosis, or treatment. Clients  should see a psychiatrist, psychotherapist, physician, chiropractor, registered massage therapist, registered clinical counselor, or other qualified medical specialist for mental or physical ailments they are or become aware of. I am happy to work with other specialized professionals as part of an integrated health care team.

I am usually not available for last-minute sessions. All sessions are pre-arranged by email or phone. Please call 250-537-1967 or email me with your questions and particular needs. New students fill out an intake form. Payment must be made in cash at the beginning of the session, or via PayPal invoice the previous day.

Whatever your unique erotic identity, troublesome turn-ons, worries, wounds and joys, you will find in me a loving witness with compassionate positive regard. You need have no fear of being seen as all of who you are. Your every communication and interaction with me shall forever remain completely private.

I work with diverse people and support all forms and combinations of sexual expression and gender identity. My commitment since 1980 to queer communities, feminism, and exploring new paradigms of gender and relationship inform my practice.

I remain clothed during all sessions. I use my hands only to touch my clients. Experience the novelty of relaxing into a session that is only for you, with no agenda but your pleasure, healing and spiritual growth. Often people who initially hope for nudity and mutual touching find that keeping the focus on their experience of their own body allows them to reach a place they have never been before, as Margaret Wade notes. Some have very powerful orgasms and a more full-bodied experience, while others learn amazing things about their own sexuality or internal processes.

My practice is 100% safe. I wear gloves as appropriate to ensure there is no fluid exchange between us.

I know that when we touch someone, we touch their entire history, their deepest wounds, their secret identity, their healing powers, and their most profound capacities for joy. With each touch, I am mindful of this.

Testimonials

"Wow 2 days after your massage and I still feel it!! I got up off your massage table and felt like I had a new face to face the world with. I am forever grateful for all your time and energy that you shared. Erotic massage is something that will play a bigger part of my life as the days go by and I am so glad for your knowledge that you have shared."

"My session with you felt amazing. I felt deeply relaxed, safe, loved (in fact, held in a huge ocean of love), and then of course my body felt completely electrified by the end of it, pulsing with energy head to toe. That was quite enlivening, a full-body sensation with an intensity that I haven't felt before. I've used the breathing down into my pelvic area since then, and it really makes a huge difference in bringing pleasure into my whole body. Such an easy way to expand feelings of body awareness and pleasure. I'm in my head a lot of the time, and this will help me bring my energy into the rest of my body."

"I felt so enthusiastic about Caffyn's energy, and comfortable also. I experienced feelings that I never felt before. Thank you for teaching some mindblowing 'keep your partner coming back for more' massage skills. It  was Astonishing and Incredible that a person could ever feel like that!"

"Thank you again for such amazing sessions, both of us were SO grateful for the opportunity. it was amazing for me in so many ways, the giving and the receiving. I loved the way you so naturally incorporated us as a couple into the process.

I didn't quite know what to expect from the sessions, and how I would respond, being as a lot of the time I can be quite closed down. (dissociation and closing down is something I am wanting to work on) I felt super safe and at home in the sacred container you created which allowed me feel open to what was to come. 

I came out of our sessions feeling sort of otherworldly and open which felt amazing. I feel I have a sort of block right at the root chakra built from years of anxiety and trauma and I think that this kind of massage and body work we are doing with you is perfect for moving the energy. I feel pretty hip to my head, but most of the time I feel like my body is some sort of foreign map that I carry, almost separate to my all too familiar head life...this weekend seemed to transcend this strangeness."

"I felt very close to my partner after the sessions.  It most definitely felt like a beginning of a new and exciting journey...

I can't really put words to it, (the purple beams of light doesn't quite encapsulate it) but I felt moving energy and love and gratitude .... your being and skilled touch was so nurturing, thank you."

"Caffyn, I feel deeply grateful for your attentiveness, your skill and the gift of sexual aliveness that you brought to us in the sessions.  I really appreciated opening a dialogue (both physical and verbal) that brings sexual exploration and consciousness into the realm of positive growth, and out of the realm of something to be guarded. As is true of most of us, I definitely learned a lot of fear and shame about myself as a sexual being, closing that part of myself down from a very young age, before ever opening it up. Doing this work is a continuation - a new step forward - in a long process of letting go and re-embracing my self and sexual connection with others. I  too loved how you brought us both into the role of serving the other, so naturally and smoothly, a wonderful way to open our hearts to one another and also expand our confidence in that role (and in receiving that serving energy from each other)."