Curing Premature Ejaculation

What is "premature ejaculation"? When ejaculation happens before we are ready, or before our sexual partners are ready, we call it premature. Some men are content to ejaculate after a few minutes of stimulation, whereas others feel their ejaculation is premature when it occurs after an hour or more of high arousal. What we call "premature ejaculation" is really unintentional ejaculation. Perhaps 90 percent of ejaculations are premature, inasmuch as they represent a discharge that limits access to profound sexual pleasure.

As Maurice Tate notes, most of us do not realize that we place place a limit on how intense sexual energy can be, thus limiting the intensity and erotic potential of our sexual experience.

In part, this is due to the profound discomfort we feel with sexual energy - a discomfort that is cultural and physical. Sexual energy is experienced as tension we need to discharge or repress. If you are tense, the feeling of a lot of charge in your body is very uncomfortable. When we approach the maximum sexual charge our body can comfortably deal with, we generally either back down from the intensity or release it through ejaculation.

The key to curing unintentional ejaculation is to build up the sexual energy in our bodies in a very relaxed state. This allows the sexual energy to rise without discharge. This enables much more energy or even ecstatic pleasure to flow all though our bodies. It enables an orgasmic state to arise effortlessly even as ejaculation becomes intentional. Men can learn to make love for hours. They can become multiply orgasmic with training and coaching in this technique.

Addressing premature ejaculation can begin with breathing techniques that build up a charge in your body. As you learn to play with more and more charge, more and more pleasure becomes possible.

This does not mean that I am opposed to ejaculation, as are some practitioners of Tantra and Taoist sexual cultivation, who believe it is always an energy drain. I believe that ejaculation is an important and beautiful aspect of men's (and women's) sexuality. But I like to teach people to use ejaculation intentionally, as one form of expression of deep pleasure, rather than a way to discharge tension.

Whether it happens in a few seconds, or after several hours or weeks - ejaculation need not represent an end to lovemaking. There are literally thousands of possibilities for sexual interaction, and only one depends on having a hard penis. Learning and practicing a myriad of other erotic possibilities takes away the fear factor. Each ejaculation can  be savored and celebrated in the context of a richly-textured, ongoing orgasmic journey.

Email Caffyn: cj@erospirit.ca

Phone: 250. 537-1967