“Thank you, thank you, thank you so very much for who you are, the work that you do, and how generously you offered your incredible skills and deep care to both me and my partner.
I cannot fully express the depth of the impact that my experience of our time with you has left; I am a different person in both my sex and my awareness of what is possible with myself and with her. This includes how I am in relation to what is possible around sexual healing for me and for her, as well as a wild depth of connection and experience that I have not known previously. This is all thanks, in large part, to you.
An experience that has floated up into my consciousness many times was my experience of being witnessed by both you and her while I spoke, naked, from my heart–and my body–about my love for my cock; describing how I self-pleasured throughout my entire life, and still do. That moment felt–and still feels–right as rain in me as having you both hold me so preciously allowed me to love myself more than I ever have around my sexuality, both innate and cultivated. That gift is so incredible, so heart-rending in a way that has my ability to love, discover, and connect, growing exponentially.
I also so value the permission that you gave for me to be a student and truly marvel at what I was feeling with my heart and my hands and what I was being so generously offered by you both – the permission to feel, to explore, to be a man, to be sensitive and aware, to be alive, be curious, and to love you both and myself in the process.
There is so much more to say, Caffyn. I am so deeply grateful to you for all that you are and what it is you, wildly and beautifully, offer to the world. Thank you from my heart and from my soul for helping me to be more of who I am. With love, care, and deep respect, DG, Retreat
“Since the massage, I have been way more in my power, much more at home with myself and the world…. I feel more connected to myself, other people, and the Universe/God. It’s so powerful and incredible….”
Carla, 35, Sexual Healing
Dear Dear Caffyn, I’ve been writing an email to you in my head since the day we hugged good bye. And it is rare for a day or two to go by since, that I don’t think of you, invoke you and even mention you, your book and your extraordinary contribution to the realm of being human. Thank you for what you have helped unleash in me; a journey of discovery around my pleasure and erotic aliveness, that has me questioning even more, who I share it with, how and why. Thank you for feeding my expanding map of aliveness and eroticism.” NT, Retreat
“Thank you so much for your soft, compassionate being, the space you held for me was so healing” JK, Sexual Healing
“After our sessions I had this amazing feeling of connectedness with Life, like an energetic wall I’d put up between myself and Life had almost completely fallen away along with those fears I’d let go of – it was incredible to literally breath Life in like this, through my body/skin, and to still feel I had my own energetic space…. The changes I still am noticing are an increased ability to identify and speak my needs and set my boundaries – there’s an increased ease to it all since practicing with you. I’m willing to take risks trying new things instead of hanging back, and am gentler with myself as I’m learning” JC, Sexual Healing
“I’m feeling really, really good. Had some of the happiest days that I’ve had in a long time and I think that part of it is that I’m trusting that I am me, and others are their own people – so I can relax more and control less.
My experiences in our last session… I started to understand the ’embodied’ experience much, much more. It was a big realization for me that I really DO know what my body, what I need, in any given moment…. Using my voice and connecting it to my awareness was really powerful for me – I can already see that shifting things for me. I feel like a lot integrity has been restored.
Saying “No” was also quite pivotal. I have a lot of trouble with boundaries, especially with trusting that other people are taking care of their needs…I often overstep and try to make people’s lives “easier” for them.
The orgasm I had felt like it was “mine” and also that I felt like I wasn’t leaking energy as usual. A big part of it was the guiding for me, even just saying continue, continue, it kept it about me and not about anything or anyone else. I guess that was why I stayed focused and didn’t drift away in my mind. It made it that much more intense and wonderful.
The massage and exploration work was subtle but created a general feeling of spaciousness that I can still feel in my whole body. I’m looking forward to doing more of that and continuing to learn more about myself.” AL
“My session with you felt amazing. I felt deeply relaxed, safe, loved (in fact, held in a huge ocean of love), and then of course my body felt completely electrified by the end of it, pulsing with energy head to toe.”
Jim, 70, Bodywork recipient
“My dear Caffyn, I really didn’t know what to expect from you. One look into your eyes, and I knew I had nothing to fear. I had only bits and half imagined pieces to go on with this sex/spirit stuff. What is the mystery of the sex/ spirit connection anyway? Is this going to take months of therapy? What kind of message could you give me that would accomplish this miracle? Head emptied of all but a few small bobbing questions, I followed your lead in the exercises. My confidence in you increased as I felt the thick and cottony blood begin to stir again. But it wasn’t really until you began the genital stimulation that things began to happen. I felt beautiful and perfectly myself. Relaxed and joyful. Happy. Loved. I took in your words and began to understand how spirit is love, and how genital stimulation can be an avenue through which love can flow.
I laugh to myself now when I remember asking you how this would carry over into my day to day life. My heart is full to over flowing, and I can see the effects of love reflected in all those around me.
I possess a new and genuine confidence that it is all about love and I’ve got lots of it! My relationship with every body is gentler, warmer, closer. I have more energy for every thing.
The present is even more worthwhile being in. Most of the time I feel full of white light and happy and have faith in my choices. I wondered what it would be like to go from you to my budding new relationship. I needn’t have worried. I was so full of love. Her feedback was perfect; last night was so exciting and intense. You did so much for me. Transformed me. Broadened and emboldened my soul. I don’t know how to thank you. You truly are a goddess of love, in the most literal and real sense. Your gift continues to unfold within and without me. I love how this feels and how this is. Oh Caffyn, if there is more, I’d like to learn. Thank you so much, you Beautiful, wonderful woman. You have birthed me on an amazing journey. I see the sacredness of our session now. Caffyn, I could go on forever. If this missive has given you the idea you have changed my life with love. That I’m spreading this pure love. That I think you are wonderful. That I’m so happy you do what you do. With all kinds of love for you,” William, 50, Bodywork recipient
“You have a confident, present, and loving/gentle touch that was easy for me to trust and I could just focus on me, instead of feeling responsible for you in any way….Once I got over the self-consciousness and even fear over telling someone what I wanted and liked, and trusted that you would respect it, it was actually really fun and empowering. I actually stayed fully present in my body, even when I forgot to breathe, for the whole session! I feel like even showing up was this huge rite of passage for me in terms honouring myself and my body. Afterward, with the channel being more open from my root chakra to my heart, I felt the energy coming in there from, say, the ocean on the trip back home, and going all the way up. It’s both a powerful and incredible feeling that has lasted. Since the massage, I have been way more in my power, much more at home with myself and the world…. I feel more connected to myself, other people, and the Universe/God. It’s so powerful and incredible it’s really hard for me to find the words and keep it concise. There’s been a huge shift for me and in my life…. The biggest thing you did for me was help me to remove the shame – I feel at peace with who I am, my sexuality, and exploring this area of my life. It’s becoming an area of pleasure and play for me and I’m excited to explore more. I truly don’t know how to thank you as even all this only skims the surface of what has been going on for me.
Thank you for being there in the way you were for me, for being willing to continue this work with me in the future, and for doing what you do. I’m really glad I found you – and found my self.
Carla, 35, Sexual Healing
This has truly been one of the most profound experiences in my life, I’m still cherishing the moments that have left a very deep impact on my whole inner being.
I haven’t quite come to terms yet exactly what it is that I was able to experience, but it has gone very deep inside me, I can’t even explain it, I just know that something has touched me very deeply. I feel, what happen to me on Saturday can’t really be expressed in words. The questions that keeps coming up over and over is “where do I go from here”? There is something inside me that want’s to explore further and something that is afraid of exploring further. I so much want to share this experience with my husband, will he understand? He thought this workshop had to do about sex, but that is not at all what the temple is all about, there was so much energy in the room, I could hardly stand it, the women were so wonderful, and listening to everyone’s story was so amazing. Since Saturday I feel like a changed person, something happened to me, there was so much love, almost overwhelming. I just want to go around and hug everyone on the street and tell them about the temple, if everyone would take your workshop, the world would be at peace.
Love and Gratitude, Jennifer, 55, Women’s Temple
“Caffyn, I feel deeply grateful for your attentiveness, your skill and the gift of sexual aliveness that you brought to us in the sessions. I really appreciated opening a dialogue (both physical and verbal) that brings sexual exploration and consciousness into the realm of positive growth, and out of the realm of something to be guarded. As is true of most of us, I definitely learned a lot of fear and shame about myself as a sexual being, closing that part of myself down from a very young age, before ever opening it up. Doing this work is a continuation – a new step forward – in a long process of letting go and re-embracing my self and sexual connection with others.
I too loved how you brought us both into the role of serving the other, so naturally and smoothly, a wonderful way to open our hearts to one another and also expand our confidence.
Johanna, 30, Retreat for Couples
“As you could tell I was really working on being vocal with my desires (eg. directing either of you in what felt good and wanted more attention) because this isn’t something that I’ve been good at. I’m wanting to keep working on this, so we both feel comfortable expressing our desires at any given moment, and also hearing them from each other and feeling confident in working with each other’s desires. Also, I still feel quite guarded with letting my feelings during sex come out in sound, which is probably connected to that whole realm of being quiet not taking up space, caring too much about potential judgment or disapproval of others….Deep gratitude and love to you. My heart opens wide, just thinking and writing these thoughts.” Petra, 40, Retreat for Couples
“The healing that Caffyn facilitated was both physical and very emotional…gender identity, loss of a child, and most of all, the invasive feeling of having been ‘manipulated’ by not one, but two surgeons ‘playing God’…. From a purely physical aspect, Caffyn identified the areas of scar tissue, and used a combination of external and internal massage, heat, focused energy and intention to loosen and lengthen the scar tissue fibres. Working on one area at a time with varying degrees of pressure, she asked me to focus on visualizing the tissue softening and to observe the changes occurring in my body – which were nothing short of miraculous. After the second session, I could bear pressure on my abdomen with no pain and little discomfort. During the fourth session I suddenly realized there was almost no pain on penetration…and the lack of pain was strange, but wonderful! I had for so long ‘made the pain part of the pleasure’ when having sex, and it was an interesting experience re-teaching my body to interpret and accept pleasure. Caffyn’s technique released the scar tissues that appeared to stretch through my chest to my collarbone area, which allowed my chest and shoulders to open up again, allowing me to breathe more deeply to the bottom of my lungs and my belly.
The absence of any rigidity in my abdominal tissues and the lack of discomfort that I had been enduring for years were proof that the methods that Caffyn is using to relieve the pain and discomfort of the adhesions of scar tissue are effective physically and in my experience and process, emotionally freeing and deeply healing to my soul.
Tanya, 45, Bodywork for Scar Tissue and Painful Sex
“I felt so enthusiastic about Caffyn’s energy, and comfortable also. I experienced feelings that I never felt before. Thank you for teaching some mindblowing ‘keep your partner coming back for more’ massage skills.
It was Astonishing and Incredible that a person could ever feel like that!
Ken, Massage for Lovers
“I felt very close to my partner after the sessions. It most definitely felt like a beginning of a new and exciting journey… I can’t really put words to it, (the purple beams of light doesn’t quite encapsulate it) but I felt moving energy and love and gratitude ….
Your being and skilled touch was so nurturing, thank you.
Joe, 60, Retreat
“I loved your modeling healthy boundaries, as I didn’t feel like I had to protect either of us and could just concentrate on me. I also loved how you helped me tune into my body and what it was really wanting.
It’s something I’m taking and applying in a variety of settings in my life and when I’m really tuned in, life feels that much more beautiful and rich.
Finally, through unconditionally accepting all of my body, and keeping your intentions consistent no matter where you touched, you gave me a part of my body back.” Wendy, 63, Sexual Healing
“Thank you again for such amazing sessions, both of us were SO grateful for the opportunity. it was amazing for me in so many ways, the giving and the receiving.
I loved the way you so naturally incorporated us as a couple into the process.
Tom, 60, Retreat
I didn’t quite know what to expect from the sessions, and how I would respond, being as a lot of the time I can be quite closed down. (dissociation and closing down is something I am wanting to work on)
I felt super safe and at home in the sacred container you created which allowed me feel open to what was to come. I came out of our sessions feeling sort of otherworldly and open which felt amazing.
I feel I have a sort of block right at the root chakra built from years of anxiety and trauma and I think that this kind of massage and body work we are doing with you is perfect for moving the energy. I feel pretty hip to my head, but most of the time I feel like my body is some sort of foreign map that I carry, almost separate to my all too familiar head life…this weekend seemed to transcend this strangeness.” Petra, 40, Bodywork
“I want to extend my thanks to you for your revolutionary workshop….
I was completely amazing to me to be sharing a space in that way with a room full of friends, acquaintances and strangers, to feel utterly safe and sure in your guidance. I experienced so much joy and delight as shame, guilt and fear left my body.
It is so important to open communications about sexuality and gender! … My partner… had an awesome time at your workshop also. Both he and I are very grateful to have been able to participate as friends and lovers. It was very helpful to us in our connection.” Gillian, 47, Queer EroSpirit Workshop
“Thank you again for an amazing session….I so appreciate all the energy you put out and bring in and create….
I felt very safe and nurtured to go deep into some grief ….which somewhat caught me by surprise….thank you for holding space for this. I feel a huge trust with you.
“Beginning this work with you has made me realize how much space there is to grow into my sexual energy. It makes me realize how one dimensional or two dimensional I have been in my body and my sexual energy, it makes super excited to continue working with this….
I love the newness of this journey that you have brought to me, it feels like a new world in which to navigate and understand my sexuality, and to increase my connections sexually with more aliveness…..