Deep Play

An invitation from Caffyn

What is Deep Play?

Deep Play is a name for practices, pleasures and places where the concerns of ordinary life are suspended – where we feel safe enough to put away our everyday selves, and engage with our deeper selves. Deep Play experiences ask for a commitment of body, mind and soul. Such experiences empower and resource us. Intense presence, timelessness, full engagement and sheer enjoyment come when we play a game we love, following a game structure with agreed-upon rules, in a safe and sacred time-outside-time.

Deep play, in the erotic temple space, might involve sharing stories no one else has heard, or asking for  touch you haven’t dared request. It might mean co-creating a ritual to heal trauma. It might involve receiving erotic massage, healing scar tissue, or exploring genital anatomy. It might mean being witnessed in big emotions that don’t feel safe to feel elsewhere. We might do exercises to invite more pleasure and playfulness into our bodies, using breath, sound, movement, imagination and touch. Deep Play might mean connecting souls, or exploring the disconnection we feel between soul and sex. We might invite the guidance of plant spirits or other medicines, or use breath practices to access altered states of consciousness. We might find ways to share sacred intimacy.

We meet as equals in Deep Play.

In Deep Play, I am not your teacher or guru. I am your playmate, your teammate, your challenger, your lover, your friend. We are different people, with different histories, longings and competencies. I am a somatic sex educator,  and I can bring the practices and resources from my professional life to help guide our play time. You bring your own wisdom, learnings and gifts. The challenges and joys of your life have resourced you in ways Deep Play can help you honour and draw upon. You are your own authority in Deep Play. I trust you to play with me. I promise to keep guiding you and ask you to keep guiding me, so that we both always play in the place of full heart.

Structure and invitation

If the idea of Deep Play resonates with you, please invite me to play with you. This is the game structure I propose we play in:

We begin with correspondence and a conversation in person or online in which we create clear intentions for our time together, and agree to rules and boundaries. Then we meet in the erotic temple, where we can play together for  2 – 3 hours a day on two days. This is our time to go deeply into a co-created experience. We make sacred space. We explore the embodied practices we have agreed to share in open-ended ways, knowing we can change our minds or call “Time out” at any moment. We end with time for savouring and exploring how our experiences together will resource us when we return to ordinary life. The day after our play time, we will meet for a debrief, feeling into how it all unfolds in us.

If you want to play with me, please send me a nice long letter, describing how and why and when. I can only play with people a few times a year, so there are many invitations I need to say No to. Can writing your letter be a process that helps you connect to your longing, feel into your gifts, and build trust in your knowing what you want in your deepest self? Can it be fun for you to make this invitation? Are you able to hear No, and know that you are perfect and whole? Even if I can’t play with you myself, I will respond to all serious invitations with a loving letter back, and if I can’t play, perhaps I can suggest a good playmate for you.

Deep Play is offered by donation. I ask that your donation reflect the value you put on the many hours I will spend with you, and the hospitality I offer, as well as reflecting what amount of money you can joyfully bring to us. As a guideline, donations range between $500 and $1000. Your gift of money unlocks a flow of energy that helps us co-create a mutual exchange in a beautiful, supportive, sacred temple space. I am also very aware of the intersections of privilege and oppression that block the flow of abundance in this world, and no invitation is refused based on a lack of funds.

Please send invitations by email to caffyn . j @ (not a live link). Though I may be delayed in responding during busy teaching periods, if you have not heard back from me within 2 weeks it means that somehow I have not received your letter. Please send your invitation again. You can also message me on Facebook

With thanks to Tricia and Michael and their “Being Held” teachings. “There is nothing to fix, but there is always something to lovingly hold.”